1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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