Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
