I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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