It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
