Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
