Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
