apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
