Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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