Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
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I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
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There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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