Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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