I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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