just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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