Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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