Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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