Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
