i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
