Is it normal to miss your booty call?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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