So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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