ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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