I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
