it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
