So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize