This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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