all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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