is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
as a side note pls kill me
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize