brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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