You're completely useless in the revolution.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My balls are so social today.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize