It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
