we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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