you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
