508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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