Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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