dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
