it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
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so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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