Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
