Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
