"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
