I want to stick my p in your. b.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
