Sry I called you an 8
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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