what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
