I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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