We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
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Do I have a choice?
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I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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