No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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