I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
