so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
