Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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