id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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