what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
