Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
