Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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