One girl and one boy is just not enough.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
