Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
