I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
