yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
