Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Damn victory sex feels great
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