You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".