I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.